2023 Update

Greetings!,

It's only been a minute, no?. Time to update you on what has been happening with all things Topical Steroid Withdrawal. The last update, over a year ago I was in Mexico at the time. Skin was about 90% healed, life was pretty good. It got to the point where I wasn't thinking about my skin on the daily.

Was staying in a small town called Puerto Morelos, just south of Cancun. I was Lucky enough to land a volunteering position at a health and wellness retreat. I was falling in love with a wonderful woman (whom I met at the retreat), the sun was shining, the birds were singing, you get the picture... Life was truly amazing. Life was normal, I was wining at long last. Then March cam along. Started to notice my symptoms reappear. Firstly on my face (As seen below). Was this another "anniversary flare" at work?.

Thankfully, at that stage, the flare never reached the levels as it had done previously much to my sheer relief. After leaving Puerto Morelos in April, 2022. Me and my partner at the time headed firstly, to San Cristobal in the state of Chiapas. Upon arrival, traveling via bus from Cancun to "SC", which might I add was roughly a 24 hours journey, add to that the devil that is air conditioning blasting throughout the bus the whole entire trip which definitely didn't help matters relating to the skin. Skin ended up getting very dry and flaky. Also, due to the lack of humidity in the mountain city compared to the tropical, lush climate of the more coastal Puerto Morelos. At this stage my skin is far more suited to warm, humid climates. Seem to have an all round better, quality of life in said climates compared to climates that lack good ol' grandfather Sun. The Sun is indeed a medicine. I know that some folks do better in cooler climates ala vice versa to myself and the other TSW Sun worshipers.

So, where was I?, ah yes arriving in San Cristobal skin got dry and flaky, again much to my relief, my skin didn't worsen, was able to go about my day with much ease. After staying in San Cristobal for a few days, we headed further south to one of my favorite destinations, Puerto Escondido which is located in the state of Oaxaca."PE" in the past has been where I received a tremendous amount of healing. Really feel at home there, the culture, the people and the food are all top class. Quality of life really does blossom when I stay there for a period. Now for some reason this time, I was still flaring all be it at a mild level. The below image, radiating confidence, happiness and contentment. This was a really special time in my life.

 

Like mentioned before, I was very much in love, we had plans moving forward together, the future was looking very bright. I'll just keep the romance chat brief from here on out, folks. Since the start of TSW, I've been involved in two relationships. If you do the math, that's two relationships in nine years!. Both were short term and didn't last longer than a year. obviously certain areas of your life go on hold during the recovery process, relationships and romance are often put a side. Can only speculate, but I believe my condition became very taxing and over bearing for my previous partners, which is completely understandable, as the condition now effects two people. We know how TSW crushes your well-being, it heavily alters your mood and even changes your personality. 

Becoming a shadow of your former self with the pain and discomfort, the intense scratching cycles, the insomnia, the shame and embarrassment of the open, red, bloody wounds that greet you every morning, every day. Like a prisoner in your own body, you become trapped in a cycle of dread and despair. After spending nearly two years abroad, I eventually returned home. This folks, is when the shit truly hit the fan. After only being home for a few weeks, all the regular TSW symptoms began to reappear. Skin was getting inflamed, dry and flaky. The intense itching cycles, night sweats and insomnia had returned. It was like I had re-entered Hell once again, having previously escaped a few times in the past. Mentally, this was an extremely challenging time. "Hello darkness my old friend." (Simon & Garfunkel - The Sounds of Silence) springs to mind. 

The image above was freshly taken when I got home. 

Below, the images show how rapidly the symptoms had returned. Frustration, disbelief and questions of "why?, why was this happening to me again?." The images are a continuation of the TSW symptoms progressing right up until the end of 2022.

 

 

Face, back of the neck, torso, arms, wrists and hands were the areas that were the worst affected. My face was the area that was the most troublesome with flaring during this time. After pretty much struggling through the cold, winter months late in 2022, I had to take some action, things were getting quite bleak, including my mental well-being along with my physical condition. In early January of this year after scanning the Internet for some affordable travel deals in the sun (flights and accommodation) my intuition decided on visiting Morocco. Africa was always somewhere that I had wanted to check out with a visit after all. It was to be one of the best decisions that I've ever made!.

 

Visiting Morocco was purely to be for healing reasons with the warm, sunny weather. However, so much more was gained and received. The people, the food and the culture totally blew me away. I stayed in a place called Tamraght, Agadir, which was a small surf town located in the south of the country. Stayed for five weeks in a hostel. After a few days of being in the nice, warm and sunny climate, my skin began to clear up. Happy days had indeed returned. I was smiling again, feeling comfortable in my own skin once more, ladies and gentlemen. My strength was returning, I joined a local gym and worked out for the first time in about ten months. Even took my first ever surf lesson whilst staying in Tamraght!. Morocco was a medicine for all aspects of healing including the mind, body and spirit. 

 

The images below are from my time in Morocco.  

 

Day of traveling to Morocco

Three days after arriving with the warm, sunny environment

As you can see with the images, the healing progress with time spent in the Sun. The Sun is my savior. The Sun is my medicine. This is one of the main reasons that I travel, dear reader. To maintain a consistent quality of life. To not constantly think of my skin condition. To be strong, content and healthy. To live a normal life (whatever that may be, it's all down to perception, right?).

Thank you ever so much for taking the time to read this update. All the very, very best to you if you are stuck in that "place." Wish you some comfort with your own healing. Hope this update has given you some hope and inspiration.

Many thanks,

Gary 

February 2022 Update

Well folks,

Time to update you. My skin healing journey has brought me to Mexico. The weather along with the humid conditions seem to keep my flares at bay.

Currently volunteering at an Ayurvedic, health and wellness retreat centre in Puerto Morelos, Quintana Roo. Will keep this brief. Ayurveda is an ancient practice that originated in India. It is a system of shared beliefs that include primarily the diet, meditation and your body map. As part of the exchange I receive treatments, food and some of the various workshops. Most of the volunteering work is working inside the kitchen preparing meals and snacks throughout the day.

I'm confident you're aware of Ayurveda, maybe you've heard about it?, or you haven't?. Well, this is where I get lazy, dear reader. As I write up this fresh update, I'm a little fatigued. Truth be told, am pretty new to the subject myself. I'm learning on the job. The retreat is spread over twelve days. Today marks day 5 of the retreat. We have 16 guests plus staff which makes it about 21 people in total who are working along with.

My mentor is pretty confident that I can succeed with my goal of finding skin liberation and, finally healing my body from topical steroid withdrawal. So far the regime has included eating foods that are based on my Ayurvedic constitution. More updates shall follow over the coming weeks and months. Will most definitely fill you in with more information and details with the findings that will bare its fruit over the duration.

Skin has broken out in the familiar eruption zones, inside of elbows, behind the knees and at the back of my neck. This is due to my body cleaning itself out of all the stored trauma and toxins.

However, the group have been non-judgemental. They have been massively understanding and supportive. One of the facilitator's told me today that they had a guest who was suffering from skin issues. When the retreat ended, she was like a new person, in the inside and out. She HEALED her skin folks!.

Planning to contact her and get her to tell me her story. Again folks, will share her journey in a future update. Watch this space.

It's nearly midnight here. So, time to hit the hay. Back to work and most importantly, healing myself continues tomorrow. Please feel free to ask any questions in the comments section below.

Promise to be more proactive with the blog updates this year. Also, if you would care to support me via donation, please view the previous post. 

It has the details to forward on donations that you may feel obliged to fulfill. My savings are running on empty nearly. So, if you can find it in your heart to keep the quest and skin healing adventure going, please, please make a donation!.

It will mean I can continuing trying out other healing practices, support my living costs with food, accommodation and purchase some video recording equipment to help document my findings.

Okay, time to really call it a night. Speak to you soon.

Many thanks,

Gary

Seeking Your Support

Greetings folks,

Long time no see!. This update is a call out for your help and assistance. When I began posting updates of the healing process, my intention was to always make the content free and accessible to all. Free from ads and all the other nonsense.

I always wanted to share my experiences with you for free. To share my posts with you, with only genuine, honest and truthful knowledge and insights from my healing path.

As of writing this update, the progress that I've made from the beginning of my withdrawal until now is very evident and encouraging.

However, I still need to keep digging, to keep searching.

This is why I'm now asking for your support, folks!. If you have found the blog and its content useful in your own pursuit of healing, then, I politely and kindly ask that you could make a donation please.

Recently, set up a Pateron page. The link is here: (please copy and paste) https://www.patreon.com/garinosmith

Alternatively, if you wish to donate, you can send the funds via PayPal. The PayPal address is: gary.smith_983@yahoo.com

Just follow the usual PayPal steps to forward on any donations you may have.

Planning to make an update early next year, maybe around January or February.

Thanks for your time and assistance. I hope you are finding some comfort and continuing the fight to being fully healthy once again.

Many, many thanks,

Gary

2020 - First Update of the Year

Recorded a video update on YouTube. This marks the first update of the year for you.  To summarize, I have been adopting an experimental protocol that includes diet, exercise and a few obscure therapies including Coffee enemas and fasting.

Please feel free to view the update, and leave any comments if you have any possible questions.

I hope you are finding some comfort during these uncertain times. As always, thanks for taking the time to stop by for a catch up.

Gary

2019 In One Post or Less

Greetings,

Been meaning to update the blog for a while now. Wanted to do it before the year ended. So, here ya go...

Heading in the right direction these days, so it seems.
 
Life is crazy, beautiful, weird and wonderful. Life has a pretty dark sense of humor, yes?. What a bizarre, strange existence/experience. It's enough to drive you round the bend at speed. That being said, I want more time out there in some sun-kissed exotic lands. More of the good side of it. More adventures, more of meeting interesting, funny and cool people. I have the lust for life again.  This is what I want from life, and it will BE my life. Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW) is an evil circumstance that one can find themselves involved with. It will challenge you to the deepest part of your soul, yip, it really is a dark and lonely spell to navigate. You will go through hell. Perhaps years of it. However, the reward in the end is freedom. Total liberation. You will get your life back. You will be you again. In fact, you'll be a much more stronger, healthier and happier version of yourself. honestly.

Well, 2019 is slowly disappearing. I've been back home in Scotland since March. You must know that I'm still not 100% healed yet. I still flare from time to time. "Will I ever heal?", yes, yes I believe I will. I've been on my very own, mad scientist-esc experimentation quest. In my experience the sun's, natural vitamin D is what worked best for me, to an extent that is. Now, I have to admit that, the sun and the lovely, tropical, humid weather that I was very, I repeat VERY lucky to have been around for nearly six months to my belief, was just masking the root cause, much like the steroid creams were doing. Because, dear reader, after returning home, I began to flare again. Not as severe as previously, thankfully. It has been much more manageable for one thing. We're fast approaching the winter months and the colder, uncomfortable below 0 temperatures that comes along during that horrid time of year for many.Time will tell if the skin shall worsen like previously, fingers n' toes crossed that's not gonna be the case!.

My skin has been behaving as of the time of writing up this update for you. Work, college, physical activity and showers are all muy bueno these days. If needs must, I'll have a scratch every now and again then be done with it. After a short flare, no dramas, spring right back into action

I often look back on where I was before beginning withdrawal. I have improved greatly, no doubt about it. Not to blow ones trumpet, but I'm in a very, very good place on all fronts. Everything is going to plan on a personal level. 

Wishing you good fortune and a very prosperous new year.

Keep on pushing on. Trust in yourself that you're doing the right thing, you will be there soon.


Gary


**Below are some photos from during the year.**

Early part of July this year

August

Calm times

Mexico. See you again one day.

Goodbye 2018

The end of the year is drawing to a close.

2018 has been a massive year for my health. Early March, I decided to take the plunge and hit the road for some travel and adventure. Admittedly, along the way there was some minor set backs. But by 'minor' I mean nothing compared to the dark, early days. Sure I get a few flares during any given day. This however, is very minimal and lasts only for a few minutes before the itchiness retreats again.

As of the time of speaking, I no longer put ANYTHING on my skin. Nothing at all. My skin is much more resilient and stronger than before & during Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW). Dare I say it's the best condition its ever been in?. Yes, I can gladly confirm that as a fact. It can hold moisture on its own, all my natural oils have returned, movement and flexibility are normal, diet, showering, sleeping and exercise are no longer any issues as they were before.

1,744 Days or 4 years & 9 months deep in to withdrawal now (Today 11/12/18). This year I was fortunate to experiment with different medicines that are not really well known in the west. If you read my last update, I briefly talk about these 'plant medicines - Ayahuasca & San Pedro.' I strongly believe that these PM'S have been a huge factor in where my health is at, currently right now. Along with the consistent, warm and humid weather of my present location; Puerto Escondido - Oaxaca, Mexico. My overall health has normalized greatly.

I don't have any scientific proof of my findings. However, my belief is that these PM's helped heal my gut and internal organs. Some people speculate that Eczema is the cause of a damaged gut. “All disease begins in the gut.” - as quoted from Hippocrates. I think this may have been the root cause with my own, individual case. Other people heal without anything but time. But, what if there is another way?. What if these PM's can heal us quicker?. I strongly advise that you to do your own research. This might be the magic pill that we've all been searching for. 

The only niggling seed of doubt I have is when I do eventually return home to Scotland. Why?. Because the weather. Yes, the PM's may or may have not helped as I believe. It might just have been that old chestnut which is time. Time along with the beach lifestyle might have got me where I am at the moment. If you pardon the pun, I have to go with my gut instinct. I strongly believe that all that I've mentioned have helped with my healing. So, with all that being said, I will keep you informed when I do return back home. Maybe the PM'S, the weather and my stress free lifestyle combined have all been positive factors with my healing timeline. Truthfully and with hand on heart I honestly don't know. All I know is that my symptoms have greatly reduced, with my all round health reaching optimum levels. 

My skin is no longer a daily issue. My mental health is in the best state that it has been in years. Life is good. In fact life is AMAZING. I'm doing what I've always wanted to do, which is travel and explore, meet new friends and enjoy living in the moment. This was only a dream that I would often fantasize about during the early months/years whilst going through the horrific motions that TSW dealt me.

Please feel free to get in touch for any information that you may require.

I wish you comfort if you are in a bad place. Take care & happy healing.

All the very best for 2019!

Gary
 

Day 90 of withdrawal

Day 884

Most recent

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Fifty Five Months

Hello folks,

Yip, its update time again. I've been very lazy & a bit lackluster with keeping the blog up to speed of late. Truth being told and the God's honest truth that is, is that I simply couldn't be bothered with keeping it updated like I had been doing so.

Harsh but true. I know. Thankfully, It's gotten to the point that thinking about my skin isn't or hasn't been on the daily agenda like we've came to know. Traveling, exploring & having fun have!. Just worked out that I am 55 months into TSW as of today (03/10/18). Funny how these occurrences work out, huh?. For the past seven months, I've been very fortunate to have been traveling around some parts of South America. My last post was near the start of my time abroad. A lot of incredible situations and events have been 'tasted', if that is the correct word to use to describe these events, ha ha. During this time however, my skin has been a bit up and down as I've traveled. For example, at the very beginning of visiting South America, I was in a much more warmer & humid environment in Ecuador. I then headed north to the capital which is called Quito. In Quito, it was still nice weather, but it wasn't as humid as the previous city that I had been in.

After Quito, my next destination was the city of Cuenca. This is when the 'shit hit the fan', guys. The weather was mixed with more rain and clouds being involved rather than the blessings of humidity and sunshine that I had previously tasted (ha, yip, there's that word again). My skin began to flare once again. I was proper gutted as you could imagine, folks. I thought that maybe the skin would clear up quicker like many of us are often guilty of thinking. But, nope. It got worse and worse with time. Now I say worse but what I actually mean is that my arms, hands, legs and feet were the only spots to succumb to that particular flare. Thankfully, it never spread to my face. The only issue there was that my scalp became super dry and flaky. However, not unlike it had done so in the past.

For personal reasons I can't disclose why I was in Cuenca, all I can say are the words 'Ayahuasca', 'San Pedro' and 'Kambo.' I'll just leave that there. You'll have to conduct your own research I am afraid. Yes, I am being lazy again. I would just like to keep this update as compact as possible as I'm not a huge fan of writing up & reading long blog posts.

Back to the skin. The flare stuck around for roughly 3 - 4 months, the darkness had well and truly returned. It wasn't until I visited the beach in Northern Peru that the flare had stopped. Now, I can only speculate that the plant medicines, frog poison, along with time and the fantastic beach weather/lifestyle were the reasons behind this. I spent about a month in the beach town, which was called Mancora. Mancora has a reputation of being a bit of a party place. This is definitely the case. As I did enjoy the odd one or six parties whilst being there. Well, wouldn't have you after being through what we are/had been going through?.

I have to say that I believe everything mentioned is and was a massive factor in the fortunate place that I am currently in at the time of writing.

As always with the ending of most of my posts, I must mention & confirm that I'm still not 100% healed. I would say about 93% healed if using percentages!. For sure I'm a thousand times better, that is a given. The plan is to do another update before the year is out. So, until then, I wish you a gentle and speedy recovery.



Gracias for stopping by!.

A tiny bit of discoloration. Not in any means the end of the world.

Good times with my American friends in Cusco, Peru